eatingyourass

i don't talk about it too often because i don't want to be a bother. but i'm really tired of never feeling alone with my thoughts. my illness tells me there is always someone listening in and i am never really alone. like i'm important enough for someone to listen to my thoughts, but hey, that's how paranoia works. i just want it to stop. and sometimes i forget to take my medicine and i think, god, will i ever be able to take care of myself? i get so scared. i am scared a lot. i wish just once i could be alone and not feel like i was being watched.